You have just brought 30 or so items into the EXPRESS checkstand, including 15 fruit roll-ups and 10 Lunchables. You are now digging for your debit card as 5 people stand behind you sighing loudly. You don't take the hint.
As you find your debit card, your kid asks for gum. You say no. Your kid asks for gum. You say no. Your kid asks for gum. You say no. Your kid asks for gum. You say, "Fine. Pick out a pack of sugarless."
"Umm.." Your kid starts looking at the gum. The 7 people in line start shifting and looking at their watches.
"Hurry up!"
"Umm..."
You start to run your debit card. Your kid screams "I want to put in the numbers!"
"Okay. Get your gum."
"Umm...this one!"
"That's not sugarless."
"Umm..."
You start to put in your debit card again.
"I want to do it!"
"Well hurry up!"
Your slide your debit card. The kids screams, "I WANTED TO DO IT!"
"That's it, no gum."
"AAAAAAGH!"
"Get off the floor!"
"AAAAGH!"
"Come here, I'll let you put the numbers in."
"Okay." The kid holds one finger over the pin pad.
You: Five.
Kid: Five.
You: Six.
Kid: Six.
You: Three.
Kid: Threeeeee... Where's three?
You: Right here. "Beep!"
Kid: I WANTED TO DO IT!!!!!!
You: Here, you do the last number.
Kid: I WANTED TO DO ALL OF THEM!!!
You: Nine.
Kid: Nine.
Me: I'm sorry. It says that you put in the wrong pin number.
You: Oh, that's right. That was my old one. Let me do it again.
Kid: I WANT TO DO IT!!!
And so on...
And now I have forgotten the point I was going to make. I think this scenario speaks for itself.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Cell Phones at the store
Unless you are waiting for a new kidney, there is no reason to be talking on your cell while I am checking out your groceries.
You look really pretentious.
You sound very self centered.
No one wants to hear what you think about that skank who is dating your girlfriend's former boyfriend, but now we all know how you would have done if that b**** had tried it with your boyfriend.
While you were on your phone the checker may have forgotten to ask if you had your savings card and just possibly added a fifty cent donation to Easter Seals to your bill.
You are being very rude.
You think you look busy and important. You actually look like a tool. Really. Everyone in the line thinks you are a giant tool for talking on your cell phone in the grocery line. At least hang up while you are being checked out.
Don't bother with mouthing "Thank you" to your checker as you leave, phone still clamped tightly to your ear. I have already moved on to the next customer, who will most likely say "Hello" to me. I will give them extra good service, too.
Also don't bother telling the person on the line, " I am being so rude to my checker right now by talking on the phone." People try that line all the time, but they never hang up. Now you sound like a hypocritical tool.
Come on! It is maybe 4 minutes out of your life that you are not yakking about your life on the phone. No one is that interested in you. Hang up! Unless it is the hospital calling about that kidney. In which case- Congratulations! Now get your butt to the doctor!
You look really pretentious.
You sound very self centered.
No one wants to hear what you think about that skank who is dating your girlfriend's former boyfriend, but now we all know how you would have done if that b**** had tried it with your boyfriend.
While you were on your phone the checker may have forgotten to ask if you had your savings card and just possibly added a fifty cent donation to Easter Seals to your bill.
You are being very rude.
You think you look busy and important. You actually look like a tool. Really. Everyone in the line thinks you are a giant tool for talking on your cell phone in the grocery line. At least hang up while you are being checked out.
Don't bother with mouthing "Thank you" to your checker as you leave, phone still clamped tightly to your ear. I have already moved on to the next customer, who will most likely say "Hello" to me. I will give them extra good service, too.
Also don't bother telling the person on the line, " I am being so rude to my checker right now by talking on the phone." People try that line all the time, but they never hang up. Now you sound like a hypocritical tool.
Come on! It is maybe 4 minutes out of your life that you are not yakking about your life on the phone. No one is that interested in you. Hang up! Unless it is the hospital calling about that kidney. In which case- Congratulations! Now get your butt to the doctor!
Regulars
Some shoppers at our store have been given nicknames for their quirky and sometimes downright bizarre behavior. Today I saw-
Eyebrow Lady aka Pineapple Lady. She is quite elderly and wears a curly wig. Her eyebrows are drawn on. She is famous for returning used items directly to the shelf and taking what she wants to replace them. She never has a receipt and gets very offended when asked for one. She will dump out an entire bag of cherries into the bin and pick out a few that she likes. She seems to have a fascination with pineapple. She will pick up each package and turn it over to see if it leaks. If it doesn't leak right away she will give it a good shaking. She will come up to the checkstand and complain that all the pineapples leak. She leave them all upside down in the cooler so they can leak some more. If she does take one home she will bring it back the next day complaining that it leaked juice all over her refrigerator. She will go to the produce department and get another one, after shaking them all and leaving them upside down in the cooler.
She will stand at the end of the express checkstand and ask to be waited on right away, no matter how many people are in line. I always tell her that she can get into line and I will help her as soon as I can. She says she can't wait and leaves all her items on my counter in a huff, if I am lucky. Other times she will stay and complain that all the checkers are useless and no one ever helps her.
Not sure what the story is there. She seems pretty crazy, but she never seems to get any better or worse, so I don't think it is progressive dementia or Alzheimer's. The scariest part? She still drives her own car.
Eyebrow Lady aka Pineapple Lady. She is quite elderly and wears a curly wig. Her eyebrows are drawn on. She is famous for returning used items directly to the shelf and taking what she wants to replace them. She never has a receipt and gets very offended when asked for one. She will dump out an entire bag of cherries into the bin and pick out a few that she likes. She seems to have a fascination with pineapple. She will pick up each package and turn it over to see if it leaks. If it doesn't leak right away she will give it a good shaking. She will come up to the checkstand and complain that all the pineapples leak. She leave them all upside down in the cooler so they can leak some more. If she does take one home she will bring it back the next day complaining that it leaked juice all over her refrigerator. She will go to the produce department and get another one, after shaking them all and leaving them upside down in the cooler.
She will stand at the end of the express checkstand and ask to be waited on right away, no matter how many people are in line. I always tell her that she can get into line and I will help her as soon as I can. She says she can't wait and leaves all her items on my counter in a huff, if I am lucky. Other times she will stay and complain that all the checkers are useless and no one ever helps her.
Not sure what the story is there. She seems pretty crazy, but she never seems to get any better or worse, so I don't think it is progressive dementia or Alzheimer's. The scariest part? She still drives her own car.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
There are no dumb questions
Well, yes there are.
1. Do you work here?
No, I just walk around in a grocery store wearing an apron with the name of the store on it and a name tag because I have lots of spare time.
2. Is your line open?
No, I am just standing in the checkstand with the light on wearing my uniform for no reason at all.
3. Do you have (compeating grocery store)'s gift cards?
Sure we do. We love to help customers take their business to another store.
4. What store is this?
I'm not sure. Let me check the signs and newspaper ads posted everywhere, the front of the building, and my apron with the store name and logo printed on it. Nope, I still don't have a clue.
:)
1. Do you work here?
No, I just walk around in a grocery store wearing an apron with the name of the store on it and a name tag because I have lots of spare time.
2. Is your line open?
No, I am just standing in the checkstand with the light on wearing my uniform for no reason at all.
3. Do you have (compeating grocery store)'s gift cards?
Sure we do. We love to help customers take their business to another store.
4. What store is this?
I'm not sure. Let me check the signs and newspaper ads posted everywhere, the front of the building, and my apron with the store name and logo printed on it. Nope, I still don't have a clue.
:)
Friday, September 25, 2009
The Magical Back Room
Several times each day a customer will not be able to find and item and they will ask if we have it in the back. I suppose there are grocery stores that keep a complete inventory of all their products in the back room, or at least they did in the old days when stores carried one kind of coffee, three kinds of cereal and two types of canned vegetable.
I guess people still carry this image in their heads of a well organized back room full of shelves where all the items in the front of the store are reproduced and ready to restock at a moment's notice. The customer can't find a bottle of 200 count asprin (or soy sauce, bread crumbs, humus, cat food, paper clips, baby wipes,etc.) and alerts a friendly courtesy clerk who runs to the back of the store and retrieves a bottle of asprin from the proper shelf and delivers it promptly to the waiting shopper's eager hands.
Think about it...
Are you thinking about it?
Most modern markets do not have a huge warehouse in the back of the store. Deliveries are made each night after most of the customers and employees have gone home. Huge pallets of product are stacked in the receiving area where the night crew pulls them out onto the sales floor and restocks the shelves all night long.
When you show up at the store in the morning just about everything that is available for purchase is already on the shelves. The produce, meat and dairy departments have moved everything into their areas and will be working them to the shelves as the day goes on, but everything else is on the shelves and ready to buy. If you can't find a jar of seedless strawberry jam on the shelf, there is not any in the back room.
Here is what is in the back room-
Stacks of cardboard boxes that will be put into the bailer almost immediately. Another thing-WE DO NOT HAVE A HUGE SUPPLY OF EMPTY BOXES FOR CUSTOMERS. IF YOU NEED BOXES TO PUT STUFF IN WHEN YOU ARE MOVING, GO TO A STORE THAT SELLS PACKING BOXES!
Piles of cans and bottles that have been counted and stored by a courtesy clerk.
Crates full of products that are expired or have been recalled or discontinued. You can not buy this stuff. It is going away. We can not sell it to you.
Trash from the departments waiting to go into the compactor.
Soda and beer. Yes, this is the one time where we might have something in the back room that is not on the shelf. Go ahead and ask. However, most of this stuff is overstock and there is still plenty on the sales floor. They just had to put the excess somewhere for awhile.
Floor jacks and sixwheelers used to move products throughout the store.
That's about it. If you still can't believe that there is not a complete other store hidden behind those doors to the back room, just take a quick look. No one will mind if you stick your head back there and get an education about real life. Just don't go back there with twenty or so cans of whipped cream and have a party. More on THAT incident another time.
Peace!
I guess people still carry this image in their heads of a well organized back room full of shelves where all the items in the front of the store are reproduced and ready to restock at a moment's notice. The customer can't find a bottle of 200 count asprin (or soy sauce, bread crumbs, humus, cat food, paper clips, baby wipes,etc.) and alerts a friendly courtesy clerk who runs to the back of the store and retrieves a bottle of asprin from the proper shelf and delivers it promptly to the waiting shopper's eager hands.
Think about it...
Are you thinking about it?
Most modern markets do not have a huge warehouse in the back of the store. Deliveries are made each night after most of the customers and employees have gone home. Huge pallets of product are stacked in the receiving area where the night crew pulls them out onto the sales floor and restocks the shelves all night long.
When you show up at the store in the morning just about everything that is available for purchase is already on the shelves. The produce, meat and dairy departments have moved everything into their areas and will be working them to the shelves as the day goes on, but everything else is on the shelves and ready to buy. If you can't find a jar of seedless strawberry jam on the shelf, there is not any in the back room.
Here is what is in the back room-
Stacks of cardboard boxes that will be put into the bailer almost immediately. Another thing-WE DO NOT HAVE A HUGE SUPPLY OF EMPTY BOXES FOR CUSTOMERS. IF YOU NEED BOXES TO PUT STUFF IN WHEN YOU ARE MOVING, GO TO A STORE THAT SELLS PACKING BOXES!
Piles of cans and bottles that have been counted and stored by a courtesy clerk.
Crates full of products that are expired or have been recalled or discontinued. You can not buy this stuff. It is going away. We can not sell it to you.
Trash from the departments waiting to go into the compactor.
Soda and beer. Yes, this is the one time where we might have something in the back room that is not on the shelf. Go ahead and ask. However, most of this stuff is overstock and there is still plenty on the sales floor. They just had to put the excess somewhere for awhile.
Floor jacks and sixwheelers used to move products throughout the store.
That's about it. If you still can't believe that there is not a complete other store hidden behind those doors to the back room, just take a quick look. No one will mind if you stick your head back there and get an education about real life. Just don't go back there with twenty or so cans of whipped cream and have a party. More on THAT incident another time.
Peace!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Germs at the grocery store.
I do not have a problem with people bringing their well-behaved pets into the grocery store. I do not find dogs to be any more germy or messy than a human baby or kid. Some people freak out when they see a little dog in the shopping cart. Think about this- People routinely put their baby, with a diaper on, in the baby seat. Later someone else gets that cart and sticks their veggies or deli sandwich right there. Ew. People also sneeze all over those cart handles. Babies put their mouths on them.
Some customers will put a donut directly on the belt while I am checking them out. Then I have to figure out how to hand it to them without touching it. People give their kids fruit to snack on right off the pile. 28 people have touched that apple before you! And do not try to hand me the sticky banana peel your baby has been sucking on. I won't touch it. There is a garbage can right there.
Do not eat anything off the floor. Do not let your kids play down there. Really! Stop doing that.
And don't put anything directly on the belt. Meat and hot chickens leak on there all day. I have seen grown people drool on the belt. Dads think it is fun to put the baby on the belt. Moms never think this is a good idea but men find it to be hilarious. The kid never enjoys it.
Anyway, the grocery store offers a thousand ways to pick up germs. Bring your hand sanitzer.
Some customers will put a donut directly on the belt while I am checking them out. Then I have to figure out how to hand it to them without touching it. People give their kids fruit to snack on right off the pile. 28 people have touched that apple before you! And do not try to hand me the sticky banana peel your baby has been sucking on. I won't touch it. There is a garbage can right there.
Do not eat anything off the floor. Do not let your kids play down there. Really! Stop doing that.
And don't put anything directly on the belt. Meat and hot chickens leak on there all day. I have seen grown people drool on the belt. Dads think it is fun to put the baby on the belt. Moms never think this is a good idea but men find it to be hilarious. The kid never enjoys it.
Anyway, the grocery store offers a thousand ways to pick up germs. Bring your hand sanitzer.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Putting it back...
You are walking down the produce aisle. You see a nice melon and put it in your cart. You notice that you have a frozen dinner in there. Hmm! That doesn't look as good as it did when you picked it up. What to do? Do you:
A: take the frozen dinner out of your cart and hide it under the tomatoes.
B: Balance the frozen dinner on the edge of the shelf with the salsa.
C. Shove it in the ice cream freezer because it is one aisle closer to you than the frozen dinner aisle.
D: Put it back in the exact place you found it.
E: Hand it to a friendly store employee who will put it away for you.
No one ever chooses D. For some reason everyone is too embarrassed to chose E, which is weird.
Everyone opts for a variation on the first 3 choices. At night when I clean up the store I find pears in the cheese cooler, exploded glass bottles in the ice cream freezer and thawed frozen dinners just about everywhere.
This adds to the cost you, and everyone else pays for their food. It cuts into my salary. It doesn't have to happen.
Simple- If you decide you don't want something, put it back or give it to an employee. WE DON'T MIND! IT IS NOT EMBARRASSING! IT HAPPENS ALL DAY LONG AND NOT JUST TO YOU!
Thanks for your help in this matter :)
A: take the frozen dinner out of your cart and hide it under the tomatoes.
B: Balance the frozen dinner on the edge of the shelf with the salsa.
C. Shove it in the ice cream freezer because it is one aisle closer to you than the frozen dinner aisle.
D: Put it back in the exact place you found it.
E: Hand it to a friendly store employee who will put it away for you.
No one ever chooses D. For some reason everyone is too embarrassed to chose E, which is weird.
Everyone opts for a variation on the first 3 choices. At night when I clean up the store I find pears in the cheese cooler, exploded glass bottles in the ice cream freezer and thawed frozen dinners just about everywhere.
This adds to the cost you, and everyone else pays for their food. It cuts into my salary. It doesn't have to happen.
Simple- If you decide you don't want something, put it back or give it to an employee. WE DON'T MIND! IT IS NOT EMBARRASSING! IT HAPPENS ALL DAY LONG AND NOT JUST TO YOU!
Thanks for your help in this matter :)
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Sometimes people are nice
Here are some nice things that customers do at my store-
If the little kid buying gum and a candy bar is short of money, the next person in line will pay for it.
If someone comes into the line with one item behind someone with ten things, that person will let the other customer go first.
Sometimes a customer will buy a needy person's groceries.
Some customers compliment their checker on a job well done.
Thanks, nice people!
If the little kid buying gum and a candy bar is short of money, the next person in line will pay for it.
If someone comes into the line with one item behind someone with ten things, that person will let the other customer go first.
Sometimes a customer will buy a needy person's groceries.
Some customers compliment their checker on a job well done.
Thanks, nice people!
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